A 'Nice' Dinner
by Blissfully.Oblivious
Summary: Just a oneshot I wrote a while ago, and I decieded to redo it. It's about what Bella would do if she thought of a plan to keep Edward from taking her to fancy restaraunts. Please R&R!Update: Now, it's a longer story and stuff, hope you like!
1. A 'Nice' Dinner

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight, or any of the characters mentioned. **

**A/N- This is just a one shot I did when I was bored, actually I did it English class when we had to write a story. I may make another chapter or two, but it's just a one-shot for now.**

_A Nice Dinner_

"Edward, come on, I _really_ don't like it when you take me to fancy places." Edward rolled his eyes.

"Bella, you are being completely, and utterly irrational." He said, frowning "Is it really so horrible to go out to a fancy restaurant with me?" I sighed "Edward, it's not that, it's just that I have nothing to pay you back with." I said, frowning also.

Edward sighed again "Isabella Marie Swan, how many times do I have to tell you that you owe me nothing. You pay me more then I can ever give you just by merely existing, and loving me." So, he said, turning to me "Please?" I could tell he was trying to dazzle me, and I almost gave in, but then a brilliant idea came into my head.

"Fine!" I said, and Edward smirked, looking smug. 'I didn't know it would be _that _easy. If I did I would have done this long ago." I smiled and crossed my arms "Oh let's see whose going to be laughing soon." I muttered, but Edward's extreme vampire hearing caught what I was saying, and he frowned, looking at me with curiosity. Now _I _was looking smug, I'm sure this was one of the many times he wished he could read my mind.

Edward's Volvo pulled into the parking lot of the fancy French restaurant, whose name I could not even imagine trying to pronounce. I was still working out my scheme in my head when Edward opened my door for me and kissed me, he was, no doubt, being extra nice to me so that I wouldn't do anything to embarrass myself or him. But, that wasn't going to happen; this was such a great opportunity I couldn't let it pass.

He kissed me again and said "Now, Bella, you don't want to do anything rash now do you?" he phrased it as a question, but I heard the threat in it. Of course, I chose to ignore it.

I stumbled in the door in the ridiculous high heels that Alice had made me wear. There was a women waiting to seat us. She looked Edward up and down, at least twenty more times then necessary. Edward either didn't notice or care, but I glared at the girl, and took my seat across from Edward.

A man came out to take our orders. Of course, Edward said "Nothing, thanks." But I smiled and said "Can I have some grilled cheese with bacon on the side." The man looked surprised for a moment, but then said "Umm, I'm sorry miss, but we don't have that." I whined like a three year old and crossed my arms. "But I_ WANT_ it!" The man had a strange expression, almost scared, and Edward sighed, and slipped him some money. The man went off and I yelled "And I want a Coke, in the can, with a bendy straw. And make sure the straw is purple!"

The man hurried off, and I looked at Edward, he sighed and said "I try to do something nice and…" I smiled sweetly "Edward you're right, you are the greatest, I'm really sorry." I got up, taking my elaborately folded napkin with me, and went over to him, he looked puzzled and I put the napkin on his head. "ALL HAIL KING EDWARD!" I said, bowing in mock worship. When I looked back at him the napkin was off his head and from his face I could tell he was very angry, but trying to fight it.

I smiled innocently again, and sat back down in my seat. He breathed deeply and said "Bella, if you are trying to get me to leave, it's not going to happen. I _will _enjoy a nice evening with you." I giggled "Silly Eddie, I wouldn't want that." Edward stared at me, studying me, as if he was trying to figure out what I would do next.

The man came out with my food and Coke. He set down the plate, and the can with the purple straw I had requested. I tried my best to looked shocked and said "Hey! Wait a second! Where are my tacos?" The man looked surprised and slightly horrified "But you didn't ask for-" I put up my hand 'I said, that I want a tacos!" The man looked slightly horrified and scared again, but then he hurried off.

As Edward was sitting with his head in his hands, I peeled apart my grilled cheese, which was cut in half, and stuck the sticky parts with the cheese to the wall giggling and humming. "Hey Edward!" I said, and he looked up at me with a new expression of horror. 'This one is Larry." I said pointing to one triangle shaped half that was stuck on the wall "And this is Carry. They're married." I giggled and picked up the other halves without the cheese 'This is Mary, and Jerry, they are cousins of Larry and Carry." I giggled and made the grill cheese "walk" across the table toward Edward "Hi Edward!" I had Mary say "I want to be your friend." Then I had the other piece of bread say "No way, he's my friend!" And the grill cheese engaged in an epic battle, which, in the end, involved Mary getting ripped in half.

Finally I stopped playing with the grilled cheese. And pulled Larry and Carrie off the wall. "Catch!" I said tossing each at him. And, like I had expected Edward caught them. "Bella…" he said his words coming out strained with anger "This is… ridiculous! Stop acting so childish. It isn't funny at all!" I giggled again, and Edward continued to massage his temples.

Finally my tacos came. I got three, perfect. I cackled in delight, and I could see that Edward was looking wary. I broke all the shells in half, and grabbed some of the meat, which was in a big pile in the middle of my plate. 'Edward!" I said gleefully "Let's play beauty salon." And before he even knew what was happening, I was up out of my chair, by him massaging the meat into his hair. I hummed and made one spike with my "gel." He stood up quickly, and I 'accidentally' fell into my plate hitting it so that it hit Edward square in the chest. I laughed and smeared it on his face. He grabbed my arm "Come on Bella, let's _go_!"

I giggled madly, and Edward threw some money on the table, he hurried me out into the car, and I laughed even harder, because, look who's feeling smug now?

**DUN! DUN! DUN! Looks like Bella wins!**


	2. Laughing Time

**I'm glad people liked the first chapter, and I decided to make this pretty long, since I thought of a story line and all. Well, enjoy!**

_Laughing Time_

**Alice POV-**

The vision subsided, and I started laughing, I just couldn't stop. The rest of the family looked up from their poker games and stared at me strangely, but I couldn't stop. If I had been a human, I probably would have died from lack of breath.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, I was able to control my laughter and tell the others what I saw. Edward getting humiliated by Bella in a restaurant, I knew he should have just listened to her when she said she didn't want to go.

The first one to start laughing was Emmet, then Rosalie, then Jasper. In the middle I had to take a break, because I started laughing.

"Wow," Rosalie said breathlessly "That's great, Edward's going to be so mad, it'll be great."

**Bella POV-**

"Bella! I can not believe you would do that!" Edward said this for about the _millionth time. _I moved my hand like a mouth, and I'm sure if her could have, Edward's face would have been bright red.

"Are you mocking me?" he asked, and I burst out laughing, Edward looked horrified.

'I'm sorry," I said, wiping tears from my eyes "It's just so funny to see you so helpless, and in the restaurant, so humiliated."

I was saved from Edward's fury as we pulled up to the Cullen house. Charlie was away (fishing) so I could stay here as long as I wanted.

Even though he was mad at me, Edward still helped me out of the car and took my hand, leading me to his house.

When we got to the door, Edward froze, and growled. He opened the door to……..

A room full of laughing vampires, no danger after all, unless of course, they were laughing at me, but well, they weren't. For once, they were laughing at Edward.

From what I could make out, Alice saw what I did in a vision, and told the rest of the Cullens.

"STOP IT!" Edward yelled, and the Cullen's laughter mostly stopped, except for a few giggles that leaked out here and there. "It's not my fault, I tried to do something nice, and look what happens." Edward looked so helpless and angry that Rosalie burst out laughing.

'I'm sorry, "she said between giggles "It's just that seeing you so helpless, well frankly it's funny." The rest of the Cullens and I started laughing again, and now Edward was very angry.

'Who's side are you on?" he asked furiously, and Alice hopped up "I want to be on Bella's side!" she said, skipping over to me, and Rosalie shrugged and joined her.

Emmet stood up "Hey bro, I'll be with you!" and he ran, quite like Alice, but less gracefully to Edward. "Sure why not." Jasper said, joining the Edward side.

"Team Edward rules!" Emmet said, screeching loudly. But Alice fired back "No way, Team Bella's better!"

And that, my friend, is what started the war of the Cullens (and me) Team Edward, verses Team Bella.

**Ok, this chapter wasn't so great or funny, but I had an idea, and I needed to introduce it. Please review and tell me what you think. Also, tell me if you think I should change the name of it to "Team Edward verses Team Bella." **


	3. The Rules

**YAY! Next chapter, I don't know what to say now, I'm cold, and bored, and I have to go clean the kitchen, and now I'm just rambling on, so I'll let you get to the story!**

_The Rules_

Bella POV-

"Ok, here are the rules." Said Alice, walking back and forth in front of a board that convientantly had 'the rules' on it already. It seemed suspicious to me, well, she was the psychic. When I asked her about it she had a mischievous look in her eyes and she said "You know, I have it, just in case….."

"No poisoning Bella's food." She said pointing to the first rule, and we all flinched.

"Alice," Jasper said, "don't you think that's a bit harsh, it's not like any of us would do that to her." Alice snapped around "Well, we have to have it in the rules just in case." Edward looked mortified, but he didn't say anything, so Alice continued.

"No beef is allowed in this-" Alice started to say, but was cut off by Edward.

"Alice, this is completely ridiculous, there is no point to these rules, as much as I agree with the no poisoning Bella one, it's just not-" Alice cut him off again, looking angry and dangerous. "The world would be a bad place without rules. We need rules, we don't want anyone killing Bella, which brings us to our next rule-"

"Alice!" I said, putting my hand up, and walking towards her, "There is _really _no need for this rule, no one is going to kill me, ok?"

Rosalie sighed, and got up, 'Why don't Bella and I look through the rules first before you make a fool of yourself, okay?" she asked, and Alice reluctantly sat down.

I scanned through the list of rules, most of them said things like 'No setting bears after Bella' or 'No using weapons against Bella' and, my personal favorite 'No dismembering Bella's limbs and/or head.'

Rosalie went through the rules, clicking her tongue, crossing out almost every rule with a magic marker.

In the end, five rules were left.

Each team was to have a base, this base could not be more then 30 ft. by 30 ft., the other team could not set foot on this space. The team can not stay in this base for more then twenty four hours at a time,

In the case of an illness, the game will be called off until the human (aka Bella) gets better.

The teams will play until one team gets three points. In the event that one team gets the other team covered in feathers and werewolf hair, the team that did the covering will immediately win.

The score will be kept at a central location (aka right outside the Cullen's back door.)

Clothes must be worn at all times.

The last one was kept mostly as a joke, it was stupid but well, we couldn't really cross it off the list.

Team Bella's base was chosen as my room, and Team Edward chose Alice's closet as their base. There was some arguing of whether it met the requirements, but in the end, Emmet went up and measured it, and it barely made it, by only a fraction of an inch. The closet was so filled with clothes, though, that it would be impossible for all them to fit in it, unless they took all the clothes out. From the look Alice was giving them I knew they would.

While we all talked to each other, Alice stood up on the couch, and announced "The game will begin once each team reaches it's respective bases, Team Bella will call Team Edward when we reach our base." She nodded and hopped down. For a moment there was silence, then all the sudden. Everyone started scrambling around, and Team Bella ran out the door.

"May I?" asked Alice, and I nodded as she picked me up in her cold grasp. We ran through the night as fast as we could until we got to my house.

**Ok, so as you can see, I started this whole game thing. Please, in a review tell me what you think about me changing the name of this story to Team Edward Vs. Team Bella. I want to know if anyone thinks it would be too confusing. Thanks for reading, and please review. Well, until next time, See ya! **


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